D.I.D (*Damsels* in Distress)
by Red Rose Angel
Summary: For BOTH anti-Relena people & Relena lovers. Let's have a look at the Miss darling Peacecrafts more agressive side. She decides that she was going to rescue her love in a rather...odd...outfit and decides that being peacemaker is no fun anymore.......
1. I AM the Peacecraft Bitch

Here's a little bit of humour, action/adventure and a ting bit of romance. I have decided to have some fun with Miss Peacecraft. What if she suddenly decided that she was no longer going to be a sweet little girl on holiday? What if she is rather aggressive? What if her clothes become rather kinky suit with bitch boots? What if Relena decides to go and rescue her love from danger? What if…?

The is for BOTH anti-Relena lovers ('cause it isn't the "normal" Relena) and Relena lovers ('cause the main character is Relena, ignore the title of first chapter though, it isn't mean nastily.) Well, here's what I think would be a little amusing to think. This Relena is just class!

I thought it would be a little change from the heavy going "Broken" fanfic.

**_DISCLAIMER: _I do NOT own Gundam Wing!**

_Japanese references at the end of chapter._

Please laugh and enjoy!

**Chapter 1: I AM the Peacecraft Bitch**

Relena finished her paperwork. "Fucking hell!" she swears loudly, "I need a break!" A voice told her that her mood was not the best today; not that she needs telling.

She walks out into the corridor and headed downstairs. Maybe she'll go and find Heero; her heart softens at the thought of him. As she walks down the stairs, Milliado was coming the other end. She rolled her eyes; most of the time she can stick him no problem, just sometimes...

"How's my little sister this evening?" said Milliado. Relena smiled sweetly and bats her eyelashes; her dark eyes twinkled with an odd light. Inside she is screaming, "don't call me that!"

"We plan going to a colony for a small break, I think you'll need it. Would my dear sister like that?" he said looking lovingly at her.

She smiled back, "yes I would like it very much, thank you." Inside her the phrase "Omae o korosu" was floating around, she was actually shouting, "call me one that more time and I think I'll tell you to go and fuck it!" He pats her on the head as he walks past. (Much to her annoyance!)

"Why do they always do that?" she growled to herself.

Relena met Noin just before she went out. She sighed in relieve. Noin was on of the very few people that don't treat her like a bloody little girl. 

"Relena, how are you?" smiled Noin.

"Tired," she replied with a sigh.

"Don't worry you're on a break very soon anyway," She put a hand on Relena's shoulder reassuringly.

"Oh do you know where I'll find Lady Une?" asked Relena.

"She's probably at the HQ for the pilots, because I think they have a new mission soon," said Noin as-a- matter-of-factly.

"Thanks," Relena replied and went.

"Lady Une?" said Relena coming in smiling.

"Hey, Miss Relena, how can I help you?" replied Une.

"I was wondering where Heero was," said Relena.

"Oh, he's a little busy, because there seems to be a disturbance on one of the colonies. We've heard rumours that some Anti-World Nation thing has set up there and we might want the pilots to go and check it out. I think all the pilots are needed this time. It's a pretty big mission," said Une.

"Can I see him before he goes?" asked Relena politely.

"Yes, I'm sure Heero can spare sometime. Don't worry Miss Relena, I think the pilots can handle it, but I can't lie to you Relena, it is going to be very tough. They've kept it quiet so well," frowned Une. Relena nodded a reply.

She knocked on the door of the data room. As she walked in she saw only 2 pilots were there: Wufei and Duo. 

"Onna just walked in," said Wufei rather patronisingly. Relena pursed her lips. She refused to spoil her mood for Heero. 

"Looking for Heero Lena?" chuckled Duo. "Or the other two. Heero will be back soon and Quartre and Trowa…well…they are kindda…busy shall we say in _their_ room." He burst out laughing. Wufei snorted disapprovingly. Relena just smiled.

"Relena?" came Heero's cold voice behind her. "What are you doing in here?"

"Heero! Came to find you," replied Relena.

"Hn," said Heero. "As usual!" thought Relena. "I hardly ever get a human response out of that guy! I do wish he'd stop grunting at me every three lines! Oh well, I might as well put up with it!"

She took him out with Duo shouting "I won't disturb your bedroom for the next three hours!" as the door closed behind them. Relena blushed furiously. 

Relena talked to Heero briefly with exchange of heart moving words. Heero managed not to grunt every three sentences. Relena had to go very soon.

"You'll take care won't you?" said Relena worryingly.

"I'll come back. Don't I always?" 

"Kudasai."

"Aishitheiru…"

"Kore kara zutto... itsumademo"

They parted with a passionate kiss.

Heero walked back into the data room.

"You were quick!" exclaimed Duo, "not as passionate as Trowa and Quartre heh? Or didn't you do it properly?"

"I thought Pocky would shut you up for a while!" replied Heero without feelingly.

"Wu-man, want a race?" Duo carried on, sucking the chocolate off the Pocky sticks loudly, "see who can suck the chocolate off their Pocky first."

"Shut that shit hole of yours will you?!" shouted Wufei.

Duo grinned.

_1 week later_

"Relena, you ready?" said Milliado coming into the room.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

"You're going to love it my dear little sister. It would be really relaxing for you. Get your mind off a few things."

Relena made no reply. Her mood has not improved and she couldn't trust herself not to tell him to go and piss himself.

"I'll be down soon, you go first. Pegan will help me," said Relena as sweet as she could through her teeth.

"OK, but hurry up!"

Just as Milliado walked out, Pegan walked in. He waited till Milliado walks outs till he spoke.

"Are you packing the black trunk Miss?" said Pegan.

"No doubt," replied Relena.

"Master Yuy on a mission?"

"Yes and you never know."

"No, you never know."

_1 week later_

Relena was enjoying herself and relaxing. Her mood was improving again. Yet she was curious to know about Heero. She decided to find Lady Une, who was on the colony to supervise her safety. Relena snorted at the thought.

As Relena neared Une's office she can hear her on the phone to someone. The word "pilots" caught her attention and so she gently opened a crack in the door.

"What! No word from them….did you try Heero's laptop?…captured! Don't be an idiot! As if…they're probably busy. Impossible…ok, ok…if we don't hear from them for another week…they could be anywhere. What! On this colony…No they can't…There's none here! They aren't situated on this colony. Shit! You should have told me earlier. Right. I'm going to move the Peacecrafts out of here as soon as possible. Shit! I don't believe it. I'll contact Noin and Milliado. Make sure none of this gets out to Miss Relena you hear. Ok, contact you soon."

Relena heard the phone slam down very hard and Lady Une swearing loudly. Relena creeps away. Looks like the black trunk was a good idea after all.

"Pegan get out the black trunk," said Relena as Pegan walked in her room. 

"Already Miss?" asked Pegan.

"Yes, they're pretty sure. They've got them."

"Are you sure Miss?"

"No, but I'm on holiday. I refuse to be a "Miss Relena Peacecraft" on holiday," said Relena sarcastically. "As worrying as it is, it would be fun." She grinned then her expression darkened. "_No one is touching a hair on my boyfriend."_

"I'll be back soon Miss with the other things and the Mr and Mrs Peacecraft are out by the way."

"Thanks Pegan."

As soon as Pegan went Relena opened her wardrobe. She pulled out the black trunk and opened it. She looked at all the clothing inside. She grinned. Wait till the boys see this...

She took off her top and white bra and chucked it on her bed. She pulled the black one out of the trunk and put it on. She looked at the choice of tops: black leather or the other one… Relena grinned, the other one. She pulled the tightly fitting, semi-see through top over her head and put it on. It brought out her figure and hid nothing. One can make out her black bra well underneath the top.

Relena put on her black tights then took out the black leather spandex pants and examined it. The wire stitches that attached a black leather belt to the pants were still strong. The shiny black buckle still fastened fine. The small metal file on the back of the belt was hidden well with another black buckle. She put this on; the leather pants like the top hugged her thighs and waist tightly, hiding nothing. She could still move surprisingly well in them. She took out a leather strapping and strapped it just above her knee and slotted a small knife in it. She repeated with the other leg, but put in a mini handgun instead. She pulled out her knee high boots and put them her. She looked at them; Bitch Boots! She smiled. She slowly did up all the laces then grabbing the heel of one side gave the boot a sharp tug and off came the heel to reveal a pointed shiny blade-like heel. She checked it then put the protective heel back on it.

Finally her hair. She took out some black dye and dyed her fringe and steaks of her hair black. She dried it then brushed it. Relena combed her hair into a plait then twisted it into a single bun on the back of her head, then tied it up with a black satin ribbon. 

Pegan came back in carrying two guns, a backpack and a small bag.

"Here you go Miss," said Pegan.

"How to I look?" asked Relena turning to him.

"To kill," replied Pegan with a smile, "does the locator work?"

"Yes, it can locate my backpack," replied Relena checking.

"You can't detach the belt from the pants?" said Pegan.

"Nope," replied Relena, "Stitching's fine."

"Here are the guns, Miss…"

"Thank you," and she shoved them in her belt at the back.

"…and the bullets…"

She took the small bag, took out the bullets and slotted them in the various slots around her belt.

"…the rucksack with the usual, plus I've found your brother's laser weapon and so changed the mechanism and put it in a lipstick. It should be small enough to fit comfortably in your boots."

"You're getting better and better Pegan," she exclaimed as she slipped the small "lipstick" in her bitch boots. "I seduce them first then kill them! What will you come up with next?! Laser underwear?! Just in case they try to fuck me!"

Pegan frowned. "Sorry Pegan," smirked Relena, "I'm as bad as Maxwell! Though I love the heels by the way."

Relena looked at herself one last time in the mirror. She looked ready to kill. She took out her sunglasses put them on and said, "Omae o korosu for I _am_ the Peacecraft bitch!"

To be continued… Japanese Reference 

Omae o korosu – I will kill you

Aishiteiru – to love deeply, I love you

Kore kara zutto... itsumademo – forever and for always

Onna – Woman

Kudasai – Please do so, for me

Pocky – Chocolate covered Pretzel stick

Hope you liked it. I thought it would be rather fun to make Relena go and save the pilots for once, even if it is a rather kink outfit. More laughs in the next chapter when Relena tries to slash her way in to save her beloved and it is quite literally slash her way in since she's not particularly quiet! Please review. Thanks for reading. :) :)


	2. Mission Impossible

Chapter 2: Mission Impossible! Hurray! Too much work to do been too busy! Anyway, so our "darling Miss Peacecraft" is now in bitch boots and a rather kinky top! Try imagining that for a start!! So what is she going to do in this suggestive outfit? Well, let's find out…

**_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Wing._**

_Please laugh and enjoy!_

Pegan drove Relena to the pilot's home on their mission in the colony, whilst informing her of whereabouts they think they have put the pilots.

"I'll soon find out," said Relena as she took the heels off to reveal the blade heels when getting out the car. "Thanks Pegan."

"Good Luck Miss and be careful."

"What? The worst that could happen is that I get captured and fucked by some bastard. I'm not a virgin anyway!" she grinned at the very disapproving frown on Pegan's face. "Sorry, Pegan, that wasn't funny was it?" she grinned again and went.

Relena reached the pilots lodgings. She went into Heero's very neat room and grabbed a few guns. She dumped them into her rucksack and carried on. Duo's room next. She walked in and after scrambling over the various piles of something that she doesn't want to know about, she manage to reached the his drawers. She opened the drawers half expecting to find a porn magazine; much to her relief she didn't find one. She grabbed a few grenades, motorbike keys and scrambled back out again. She stopped outside Trowa's and Quatre's room. No, she didn't need anything from _their_ dorm. She went into Wufei's room and grabbed Wufei's sword and slung it over her back. Right, now she's ready!

She went down to the various vehicles of the pilots and put herself on Duo's motorbike. She turned on the engine and roared off into the night to rescue her beloved and the other pilots.

Milliado and Noin were walking under the beautiful misty moon of the night. They walked romantically arm in arm beside the road back home.

Suddenly a woman in black with a backpack and a large sword on her back roared past them on a motorbike. Milliado looked as she past. He raised his eyebrows. "she's sexy!" he thought, then blushing furiously turned o Noin and said, "Noin I love you!" and kissed her. When they parted Noin, pleased and surprised, said "yes, I love you too." He smiled guiltily and they walked on. 

Relena biked on through the night feeling free; the wind blowing through her hair and the look on her brother's face flowing through her mind. She laughed out loud as she rode on towards the "chemical plant" until she the top a hill overlooking it. She stopped and scanned it. She noticed there is only one road leading to it. She put the camouflage net over the bike and made her way through the woods to the roadside to wait for a lorry to past.

Luck was with her and before long a lorry came by; as it did she leapt on grabbing the sides quickly and moved on to the back. She was clinging on with her life to the back of the lorry and staring at a rather large lever on the latch that stuck out straight in front of her mouth. With one hand she "fingered" the lever playfully and grinned, "humm… Duo – opps, I mean Heero!"

Soon she felt the lorry slowed and she moved to the bottom of the lorry until she was clinging to the various pipes under the lorry. They paused for a moment outside the "chemical plant" as the guards checked the equipment that the lorry was carrying. The lorry moved again; finally, Relena was in.

She guessed that she was driven into a storehouse supposedly for chemicals. When the lights went out she knew they had gone. She crawled out and laid on back with adrenalin pumping through her while she planned her next moves. Sigh! It was a long time since she has done *things* in the dark on her back – No –No, next moves not sex! Concentrate! She decided to try and find out where the pilots are, kill a few people, seduce a few, capture a few… Oh this is going to be fun!!

She pulled herself out and tiptoed to the nearest door. Relena thought she'll kidnap one of the enemies and find out where they've put the boys. She crept out and took out her gun and the sword. As she peaked round the corner she overheard a conversation.

"Make sure you keep a close eye on those pilots. They may not seem very experienced, but they are former gundam pilots. There was no reply, but she guessed a nod. He carried on, "your duty is till 3 o'clock. Don't fall asleep." She heard him move off. Relena peaked round the corner. The soldier was standing with his back against the wall staring into space.

Silently, she moved the sword till it was under his chin. He startled.

"Don't move, sexy, this thing is not blunt. Drop the gun." He dropped it then she moved till she was in front of him. She saw him eye her up and down; a trickle of blood came down from his nose.

"Now be a good boy and tell me where the gundam pilots are or this sword here will go astray." 

"You're in a no win situation here chick," replied the soldier. "Kill me and you won't find out and I'm not going to tell you. This place is full of soldiers. He grinned with triumph. However she smiled. 

"I was going to offer you something else," she whispered seductively. Her hand wandered down to his leg. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" She pressed her body closer but not taking the sword off his neck.

"Well if you put it that way…" he stuttered.

"Now, you will tell me won't you?" whispered Relena seductively, whilst fingering the guy's trouser zip and pulling it down slightly. "Come, come, it can't be that hard. I promise I'll take the sword away too and once you've told me…" pressing her body closer to him. She took his hand and put on her hips.

"They're –they're" he stuttered then gulped, "they're locked in the room in area six."

"Are you sure?" said Relena putting the guy's hand on her breast. 

"Yeah – yeah I'm sure," replied the guy now with blood streaming out of his nose.

Relena moved her mouth to the soldier's ear and whispered, "now I keep my part of the promise…" The solder's eyes gleamed as Relena brought her leg up the outside of the soldier's leg and then moving it onto the inside, whilst pressing her lips against his, she moved her leg gently up and down the inside of his leg then –THACK- rammed in fast and hard into his groin. She kept kissing him as he crumpled onto the floor trying to push her away to cry out in absolute agony. Relena rammed butt of the sword hard into the back of his head knocking him out cold. She got up and licked her lips.

"Wow, he was a good kisser," she grinned then looked at the crumple heap on the floor, "men's weaknesses! Can't even scream in pain!" she laughed and knelt on the floor beside him, "what promises? Opps, naughty me! Girls like us don't do promises! Didn't kill ya, cause I thought you were too horny!"

She left him lying there, but grabbed his gun and dropped in her backpack. She moved on down the corridor and walking slowly as she did. Her heels clicked softly on the ground, but it seemed loud in the tense metal corridor with just the humming of machines.

"HEY YOU!!" a voice shouted behind her, she turned, "What are…?" he stopped and she watched amusedly as he did a great impression of a fish with blood pouring out of his nose. She grinned and pulled out a gun and shot him. She blew the smoke off and said, "My! I never knew I had such a good aim. That'll surprise Heero."

She carried on along the corridor muddling her way to Area 6. She came to a ladder and quietly climbed it. When she reached the top she looked around slowly; she could see that at the end of the corridor was a soldier on patrol. "Fuck!" she looked around; above her was a pipe. She waited till the soldier passed then quickly leapt up and grabbed the pipe that ran the stretch of the corridor. She hugged the pipe tightly, feeling extremely comfortable with something in between her thighs, and wishing that it were Heero's body and not a pipe. She moved slowly moving her hips up and down along the pipe will she reached the end of the corridor. She waited till the soldier walked underneath, then with one hand, she pulled out the sword and put it next to the soldier's throat.

"Don't move…" she said. The soldier seemed to remain calm. Relena let go of the pipe and landed elegantly with the sword still at his throat.

"What's the quickest way to Area 6?"

"I don't know," he replied calmly. She pushed the sword tighter against his throat. 

"I don't take that for an answer, you bastard," 

The soldier seem to chuckle and Relena was annoyed. "Son of a bitch!" she hissed.

"Where are you off to chick?"

"That's none of your fucking business!" Relena was getting impatient now, and he saw it.

"Now, now lady, cool it. Who's fucking here? I'm always willing," he smirked thrusting his hips at her.

"Bastard!!"

"If you kill me you won't know your way to Area 6."

"I'll find it myself or find out from some other bastard. It doesn't matter to me."

"Yeah it does!" a man jumped her from behind and grabbed her arm, twisting it behind her. The soldier in front grabbed her hand and twisted the sword off her hand.

"What is a beautiful woman like you doing in such a place," said the soldier behind her. "Shouldn't you be at home giving pleasure to someone?" 

"You have some shitty perspective of a woman," she hissed. She was sandwiched in between the two of them so she couldn't move. It was humiliating as they begun to grope and kiss her. "When I get free you two will be the first to go fuck it!"

"You said so yourself; _When_ you get free."

"HEY-YA!!" Relena kneed the guy in front, and then did a brilliant straight leg kick up in front of her body to kick the guy's head that was behind her. While they were cowering in pain in front of her she kicked them in the head, hard.

"That'll teach you a thing or two about women!" She brushed herself off and straightened her hair; vanity. While she was preening herself, the senior officer came up behind her and thwacked the back of her head with the butt of his gun. She fell unconscious to the floor. The two soldiers now regained themselves and got up, still in a little pain and they picked Relena up.

"She's quite a lively one isn't she?" smirked the senior, wiping his nose with a handkerchief and handing his hands casually over his lower parts.

"Yeah!" replied the two juniors drooling.

"We leave the best for the eldest don't we?"

"But sir…" frowned the soldiers, clearly disappointed.

"But what?" said the senior pompously.

"You're gay sir…!" said the soldier quietly.

The senior flushed with embarrassment. "You stupid dickhead! I'm bi!!" replied the senior stubbornly. "Now take her to my room!"

"Yes sir!" moaned the juniors.

"CALLING SIR TO THE SONTROL ROOM!!!"

"D'oh!" said the senior and headed off to the control room.

Meanwhile the 2 juniors took the unconscious Relena to the senior's room.

Thank you so much for reading and hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter up soon, (hopefully!) Please review. Thank you. *smiles* :)


	3. DID rescued

Here's another chapter finally! Have fun.

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Wing**

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Relena woke up to find herself tied to a bed. Her hands were tied to the sides of the bed and her feet were so conveniently tied apart… She grinned to herself at the prospect of this: the pleasure, the kinkiness, Heero's face if he found out, Duo's jealousy that is wasn't him that knocked her out. Oh well...

Looks like Heero and Duo are in luck. 

She had no intention of letting herself be a sex object of a bastard who is supposedly gay. She decided to get herself out of this mess that she seems to have created. Using her heel blades, she sawed off the rope that was tying her feet on to the bed. Having untied her feet she brought them up to where her hands were being tied and loosened them too. Ahh the joy of being flexible...you can do SO many things...

"Right, well they seemed to have taken my back pack. My gun is nowhere to be found," she sighed in annoyance. "Well at least I've still got my boots which means the laser lipstick...Yep!" She took her empty thigh strips off the table next to the bed and strapped them back in to her thighs. Now for revenge.

She sat patiently on the bed, filing her black nails, with her legs wide apart and her heels seemingly tied to the bedpost as before. She heard someone unlocking the door, smiled, put her nail file away and swiftly lied back on the bed with her hands under the pile of ropes.

"Well, well, well I see you're awake!"

"What do want with me?" Relena replied seemingly frightened.

"Well I don't know," said the senior officer sitting on the bed running his hands up the insides of her leg and down her front.

"AHH! Please don't touch me!"

"What was that?" said the senior, running his hand up between her legs and fumbling there, whilst kissing her down the neck and letting his other hand grab her breast.

Heero's going to be annoyed when he hears about this! She grinned. Right, that's enough of you pissing around. 

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!" and brought her knees right up to hit him bulls eye in the groin. The senior crumbled onto the floor grabbing his crotch, too much in pain to even cry.

"Ah the weakness of a man! So handy!" She grabbed the officer by the cuff and pointed the laser lipstick to his neck. "Try anything and my hand might slip!" She pulled him onto a chair, grabbed his arms whilst kneeing him again. Whilst he was cringing in pain she swiftly tied his hands to the back of the chair.

"Now," she said has she straddled his waist, moving her hips right up to his crotch and watched a small trickle of blood drip from his nose, "where are the gundam pilots?" He grinned. "Ah, I see we have a silent one." She took out her lipstick, put some on, then taking off the lipstick part, shot the laser grazing his knee. The senior swallowed his cry of pain. "Now," she said again running her fingers through his hair and pointing her lipstick at his crotch, "where did you say they were?" He was hesitant, "I mean I can always find out myself, it's just I think my hand might slip and your beloved might just have a hole in it. Then I think erections might prove a little difficult!"

He swallowed. "They're on the basement - Area 6. Last room on the right." 

"There we go. Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Relena got off him and grabbed his gun. "Now you better have treated them well," she said sweetly, "because if you touch one hair on my boyfriend" she changed the tone of her voice, "Omae ne korosu!" And she knocked him out with the brunt of the gun. 

"Well, that was simple! She gagged the senior with some rope and made her way to the door. Silently opening it and peering out she saw that the coast was clear. She shut the door behind her and looked left and right.

"Oh shit! Why does this place have to be so fucking large?!" she cursed. She ran quietly down the metal hallway taking great care with the heels. There were stairs leading downwards on the left and upwards on the right. 

"Well he said basement so it better be right." Relena crept down the stairs and just before she got to the bottom she heard feet heading her way. With the senior's gun in hand she pressed herself against the wall.

Wait for it...

Wait...

Wait...

NOW!

"Keep your mouth shut or I'll blow that bloody mass in your skull out of your head!" She hissed at the soldier as she grabbed him by the neck. He froze. "Now be a good boy and drop your gun," Relena whispered seductively in his ear. He obeyed. "My, you are a good boy! Now slowly sit on the stairs with your hands behind your back...slowly...that's it." Relena waited until he was laid back down on the stairs then swiftly straddled on top of him with her elbows on his chest and the gun under his chin. She saw he gave her a quick up-down with his eyes and smiled.

Relena examined him quickly and found that he was really rather attractive; his uniform hugging his slightly muscular shoulders and his toned skin. She smiled seductively and ran one of her hands down just above his crotch. He swallowed. "What is a handsome thing like you doing in this place? Mind you I always did like men in uniform." She made a mental note to buy Heero a uniform. It would be a change from the spandex anyway. "I wonder how much it would reveal if _you_ were in spandex..." Her hands ran lower and she felt his member throbbing in between her legs. She let out a moan which caused a few things in him to erupt. "This tent pole of your is rather hard. Let me go in and see what's made of." He gulped again. "You know all this running around is making a poor little girl like me rather tired," she said innocently. "So I need you to help me," she continued fingering the buttons on his uniform. "Now..."

She unbuttoned the top one... "What I need right now..."

The next button...mmm...toned skin... "is for you to..."

The last button... "freshen me up by..."

She loosened his trousers... "first telling me where the gundam pilots are.." He moaned gulped harder, "Th...the...basement," he blurted.

She reached down... "Thank you, and second to..." She played with the top of his boxers and moving her hand down slowly... "to...give me..." she laid herself on top of him, still with the gun under his chin, she moved so that her legs were now inside his... "the pleasure of..." she moved her hands just above his penis and stroked the skin there. He burst again... she smiled evilly ... "of _kneeing you in the balls!" _she finished as she whipped her hand out of his trousers and thrust her knee accurately in between his legs. She stepped back and watched with amusement the mixed expression on his face.

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK?!" she turned and did a back flip to avoid the bullets flying her way and just as she landed pulled the trigger and shot the man at the end of the corridor...dead. She coolly blew the smoke from the top of her gun.

"Baka onna! Spoiling my entertainment! Justice! How dare you? Do you have no honour?" she cried indignantly. She missed Wu.

As her attentions turned back to the young officer, he was recovering and trying to reach his gun. With one bullet she shot at the ground just missing his hand. She shook a finger at him. "Naughty boy!" She walked over to him pointing a gun to his head. With a laugh, she knocked him unconscious. "My, you're too handsome to kill too!" she said and walked off down the corridor.

Having successfully reached the basement and confirmed that her darling was locked on that floor. She crept along quietly. With some luck they won't find the unconscious people until she's rescued the pilots. As she passed a few rooms her eyes caught onto a black bag sitting in one of them. 

Her rucksack. What luck!

She tried the door and found it unlocked. She quickly went inside and retrieved her belongings. It was still heavy and with a quick look through all her equipment seemed to have been left alone. She swung Wu's sword over her shoulder then headed off to the last room.

The door was locked so she began to fumble about in her rucksack for a grenade. Then a thought came to her. If she blew up the door then it would attract more than a few people, but if she didn't she can't get in. "Fuck! I need more experience! What would Heero do?" She paused and thought of Heero in his tank top and spandex and... "Relena Darlian Peacecraft, this is NO time to be horny. Come on! THINK!" 

Got it.

She took out the laser and carefully took of the front to the code pad. She looked at the wires and tried to remember watching Heero play about with them. She remember him taking the green one and cutting it...she zapped it in half... and then took the yellow one and cut that in half...done...then connect the two together...!

Got ya!

The door slid open and she waited until her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room. She saw the shape of 5 men chained up against the wall. Kinky! She thought to herself. She knew that the pilots could not see who she was due to the difference in light between the room and the corridor. This was proven very quickly by a tired voice murmuring,

"If you're here to torture us, don't bother. We're not going to say a thing. Whatever you are here for, just get it over and done with ok?" It was Duo's voice. See he got no answer, Relena saw the pilots each bring their heads up to see who was in the door way.

"It's a baka onna! Why are they sending a WOMAN to torture us? Bakas!" 

"I would take that back before I am tempted to torture you!" Relena replied sharply, honestly! Trying to rescue them and this is the thanks she gets.

"Relena??!!?" came five very surprised voices.

"Who else would it be you idiots!" she replied turning on the lights and taking in with pleasure the immediate reaction of the pilots:

Heero looked as if his eyes were going to fall out of his head.

Duo was trying to keep his head down to stop the blood pouring out of his nose.

Trowa was looking at Quatre with an "I -like -to -see -you -in -that -little-one" look on his face.

Quatre was looking puzzlingly at Trowa with the "what's the surprise" look on his face.

Wufei was trying desperately not to do an impression of a goldfish.

"Relena what the fuck bought you here?" said Duo still recovering from a certain eruption.

"in THAT?!" finished Heero staring at her see through top not sure whether to look or not.

"Don't you like it, Heero?" she replied sweetly doing a twirl. "I'll take off the top then," and slowly began to take off her see through top.

"NO Relena. Leave that bloody thing on! LEAVE IT ON!" Heero said between his teeth staring at Duo's widening jaw and eyes. "And one word Maxwell, one word and you'll eat your own balls!"

"Oh Heero it's ok. Don't get jealous," she smiled going up to him and pressing herself against him. "Duo isn't doing anything. I mean compared to what some of the officers did, you know running their hands up my front and grabbing my breast and thrusting their hips at me like this and the senior who-" she paused to enjoy the view. Heero looked as if someone had taken his laptop and started smashing it against the wall in front of his very eyes. "Opps. I got carried away! Literally!"

"Oh! I'm suppose to free you aren't I?" She took out the lipstick-

"Baka onna! this is NOT time to put on make-up! Justice! Where is your honour woman?!" She gave Wufei a glare of death and slowly walked up to him. She raised her heel up to his throat and said sweetly, "Repeat that again Wu." He gulped.

"That's much better!" She pulled open the lipstick and much to the surprise of the gundam pilots shot it at Wu missing his balls by an inch. "Opps! Wrong place!" Wu scowled. She smiled at shot it in the right place.

She quickly freed the others and stood yawning whilst the pilots straightened themselves up. 

"Preferably before Christmas boys! I'm dying to get home and have a shower. I've had more than a few guys' grotty hands grab my arse and bust." She glanced at Heero who made an obvious move to grab his gun and wanted to open fire. She chucked a few pistols and the pair of katanas to Wu. 

"HEY, Lena what's with the fucking pistols when you get the cool stuff," cried Duo.

Relena fiddled loudly with her rather large AK 47 and said, "Who's doing the rescuing Maxwell? I'm leading here so quit the complaint before I shove that pistol down your throat!" Heero looked rather gobsmacked that he was not the leader but was too shocked at his beloved behavior to protest. Relena opened the door turned to the pilots and said,

"Alright girls, now lets blow this joint!" 

To be Continued…(hopefully!)

Japanese/English

_Omae ne korsu – I will kill you_

_Baka – idiot / stupid_

_Onna - woman_

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I apologise to those who've been wanting me to finish this. I was actually not going to, but due to one reviewer being rather angry I thought I would. OK got to finish English essay now! THANKS FOR READING!


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